Are you a Spectator Or A Participant

One of the things that have crossed my mind on this leg is how becoming a participant in life and not just a spectator has increased my awarness of myself.  This came about slowly over the last 30 days and really did not become aparrant till I got to the city of New Orleans. This is where I saw people participate in life not out of neccesity but out of the sheer joy of being alive.  Many of the people I grew up with or even others that I have met in life would look at some of these people and well call them fools but really they are the true lovers of life....while the rest just sit back and watch.

I m going to use the analogy of modern sports to make my point and I hope that it comes across as relatable or relevant.  One of the reasons I think that modern sports has become so interesting for spectators is that they get to step away from their lives for a short time and feel like they participate.  Look at how the term the 12th man is used in football.  The fans get to have an impact on a game without really having to do any of the work neccessary to truly participate.  Dont get me wrong i enjoy watching the games just as much as anyone but now that I look at it from the view of being a participant I actually feel sorry for most of the people who never get to fully go aftdr something.  Sports is a way for people to participate if only for a short time in life but it really is just a small part of being a full participant.....their participation in life stops after the game or training is done.  

They dont carry it over to the rest of their life.  They rarely step into life fully and participat in all it has to offer instead the term going back to the hum drum everyday life...that is why so many feel alive on the weekends.  

Well being out here for 30 days and nights on my own with no other option but tomove forward I have come to bear witness there is no feeling like participating fully in ones own destiny.  The feeling of accomplishment comes each and every day no matter the obstacle or the joy that has been a part of the day.  it gives me a new perception.....and oh what dreams may come from seeing and participating.

This brings me back to what I witnessed along the journey this week.  From a casual conversation at a back road gas station with two retired oil men who bought me my first Boudine (a southern sausage of well unknown material) to telling me all about their grandkids and their badass race car.  To riding into yet another state.....and seeing my first wild pig come rushing past me on the highway.  By the way if you want to feel frightened and scared come up on a wild boar....they are massive fast and mean.  Pure destructive power and scary as hell with tusks and a size that will shake you to your core.....these are the things of nightmares and I really could not imagine hitting one in a car that is for sure.

I was in desperate need of a rest my last day of real rest came in week one and ever since I had been pushing my body and mind harder and harder I fear almost to the point of breaking. My rest came at the city of the largest non stop block party the city of New Orleans.  My friend Heidi who i met through the internet a little over a year ago and who i have struck up a friendship put me up in a hotel she manages in the French quarter for a night.  And Well my friend patti's mother extended the stay for another night so I could heal up and well enjoy my time there.  I got to stay in the world famous hotel/prior home of the legendary vodoo preiestess Marie Laveau.  It was surreal to stay there and well it felt special right from jump.

I took the time to walk the quarter that day listening to all the different music and talking with some of the most interesting people I have ever met.  People from all over the world.  Like Michael a pharmacist from Minnesota who was down here to fish with some friends....what a cool story he had about seeing New Orleans for the first time.  He could not stop smiling and talking about all that amazed him.  It was really nice to witness and be a part of his joy and journey.

later that day i walked around watched street performers and heard these two ladies one plays the violin and one the guitar and let me just say jaw dropping musical art.  what a sheer pleasure the sounds they made to me.  The street seemed to come to a stand still when they played and everything froze as the notes carried from their instruments to my ears.....that is as best as I can explain the pleasure they brought to my sore body and mind.

One of the other performers I met there was a guy named David one of the human statue performers.  I know many people who would think he was nothing more then an oddity and would laugh about what he does.  Well after his 5 hours of holding a pose like drew breese throwing a football he and I talked.  I asked him why he did it...his answer was simple.  ''Man Iam part of the history of New Orleans NOW I give people an experience they talk about me when I go home heck your going to talk about me when you leave and besides that I make about 100 an hour doing this....shit brother where else can i become a legend see the things i have seen and make bank while doing it....hell some of these folks scoff at me I know it but if they only knew'' that hit a home run in my book a man standing as a statue is more of participant in life then most people are now that was cool.

The next morning I woke early to go down to the mississippi river to watch the sun come up.  I sat on a bench and took in the fact that I was not alone.  There seemed to be at least 50 other people standing there all who came to greet a new day from the shores of Americas greatest river.  We sat in silence as if listening to unheard music as the sun broke the horizon and shinned on our face...moments like this have become common on my trip and well bring me an appreciation for what each day offers.  As I sat there looking at the sun I glanced over at the arm rest of the bench and I saw what someone once carved into it.  "Watchin theSunrise" seems that it is special for all who get to do it there.....it made me feel a part of history at the thought of how many thousands of people sat there doing exactly what I was doing at that very moment....wow.

Later that day i walked and thought and searched my soul at least that part that has become alive because of this journey.  I thought about my dreams my aspirations the good I had done and the bad I had done as well...I thought about where my life has gone to where it is now and I thought about loves past and present to my daughter and all in between....and i think I found another part of me that has been lost.  Somewhere along my life I lost my courage, I lost my honor and I lost me.....just because I needed to find a way to fit in.  This perfect moment and this time reawakened me. This journey has brought my courage and honor back to me and has helped me more then I can imagine.....I feel the things I thought were lost come back.

Walking through the quarter that day I took it all in. I especially loved the art the passion and the lack of conformity that I witnessed and was now a part of.  Realizing that each of us at any moment are a part of history....because each moment that passes no matter where you are can not be redone.  Wow what a revelation that truly is.

That night I became witness to one of the events of New Orleans the annual halloween parade. it is second only to Mardi Gras in its scale and well the city was electric.  The parade was fascinating and the people were great.  The sights were beyond description and well there were several times I was dragged by my hand to dance to the music and the rythem of the music.  After a bit it became second nature and i danced in the streets like no one was watching and i was not even drunk......I participated in life that night and even led a conga line of about 300 people through Bourbon Street.....much like I did when I was young in times square on new years eve....that is when a missing piece of me returned full force and I became aware that like us all we are all able to be amazing at all times.

I later sat back on my bench and thought long and hard about the people in my life and yes while I was alone I was content and happy in the knowledge that they are with me all the time....I know now that I never need to be lonely again.

I met a couple and have wondered how to discuss them.  Greg and Maureen from Lincoln Nebraska are retired and travelling from an art show where Greg was selling some of his art work.  We immediatly hit it off and well we all enjoyed each others company they treated me to dinner at a local diner and we talked about their life together from when they met in australia as missionaries to their time raising 6 children and now 18 grand kids....to the fact that they are so proud of their one son for being a Catholic priest.  We talked about my journey my death and what I have come to realize.  They incorporated a discussion about my life and gods place in it in a very subtle way.  It was very nice and they understand my struggles because of my past experiences and how I grew up and well they just gave me some food for thought.  Again my circle of life has grown with them now being a part of it just like all the others I have met on this journey.....

I mentioned earlier about my friend Heidi well she is every bit as I imagined her to be a pure joy of coolness.  Thank you.

I did something I never thought I could or would ever do I slept on the shores of the mississippi river like Tom Sawyer and Huck Fin....I even skinny dipped in the river and I dont care what anyone thinks to me that in and of itself made this journey beyond cool....It made me a participant in life and not a spectator I dont ever think I can go back to being a spectator again nor do I want to.

So here I am traveling to my next stop the city of Baton Rogue and I am going to take a moment to help some people who need some desperate help I am going to do what we all should do and that is to give back....till next time become a particapant and not just a spectator it is so worth it.