I'm not exactly sure how to start this blog. Do I start with the damage from the flood...talk about gratitude....discuss the distance I traveled both emotionally and physically....or do I start with something that has me a little hung up. I'm not really sure so I'm just going to breath take a moment and just start typing.
Here I sit in a little swamp town about 50 miles from the Texas/louisiana border. Today I crossed a milestone in my trip I have covered a 1000 miles of earth over the last 30 days. Not by car not by plane but by my own effort. If you have kept up with me you know the adventures that have come my way and well some of the joys and pains of this journey. A 1000 miles may not sound like much to some but to me it is everything. From one who hasn't stopped at times to have come this far on his own well it's amazing.
I'm not selling myself short I have done some great things accomplished much in my life but also well dropped the ball a lot as well. it's just life. Someone in the recent past said to me I was not all I presented myself to be or what people
thought of me. Well you know what that high school friend was right. I was not the man I had presented. And I did something i regret. I have explained it enough and I apologized for it in many ways. But ITS done and and that is for the better of all still a shame we couldn't save the friendship but who knows.
I am so glad though that my friend Tina did give me that gift to say iam sorry, close a chapter and move on with her in my life again (however that may be)and well I am so grateful for that. There is something about closure acceptance and understanding that I feel is lost on many.
Well seems as if I touched on a few other topics in my last paragraph. Gratitude and moving on. I will come back to them but first I want to talk about what I witnessed in Baton Rouge. This entire city flooded. Homes were destroyed and lives altered by the hundreds of thousands. Some know disaster on a limited scale, say like a fire. You loose everything and well your neighbor across the street can help. But in the case of Baton Rouge everyone lost everything. but now the water is gone and trash and walls are being hauled away people are rebuilding.
I pitched in and helped where I could over my stay there. by the way I stayed with fantastic people. people who lost everything and were still willing to put a stranger up for a few days. That is real caring. Scott his wife Billie and her son Jude showed me what gratitude was on this trip. grateful to be able to rebuild the strength to rebuild and well they epitomize broken not beaten even more so then me.
While in town I shoveled debris. let me just say it's very disheartening to throw the belongings of someone's life away. But it is so much better to see people rebuild after a tragic event. I'm blessed to be a part if even for a moment part of it.
I also learned a little something about keeping my word from my friend Betty. A fine woman who exemplifies honor. She is in Baton Rouge in a professional capacity coordinating relief efforts between the state and federal government. So she is pretty busy to say the least. Well she went out of her way to stick to every promise she made. And she has become a friend that I'm honored to have one who also gives great advice.
So let me explain this gratitude thing of mine from this past week. I miss home I miss my daughter I miss the parties I miss the companionship. being out here alone hurts in many ways. it's tough for people to know what it is like to exhaust yourself both physically and mentally daily or to have to overcome fear of the real unknown. walking blindly up a country road in the middle of nowhere looking for a way across a river with aligators and leeches. Or what it is like to be frozen with fear because a 10 foot aligator just rose to the surface 5 feet from you but yet you find a way to move slowly...lol. heck most do not know what's it's like to just sit and watch an eagle fly. but here is where the gratitude comes in.
I was once dead. I could not walk properly I was supposed to be dead again. and well I would trade anything to have this opportunity right here right now. these lessons in gratitude and integrity I am so grateful to learn.
So the further I go both distance wise and within myself the more layers are peeled away. Much like the layers of an onion there is a core after all.
