Week One Recap from a week ago Wednesday to this week.....My first week of this trip and what should of been a great start turned into well a flipping hit and run. My single biggest concern with this entire trip was the possibility of getting struck by a car. I don't know how many reading this know what the feeling is like or the pain that comes along with being thrown into the air. I don't imagine many do and that is probably a good thing. But I have spent to much on this singular incident and not really enjoyed the blessings. So in this blog I will be talking about being run over, spending my last day with two amazing people, the flight, the police, my host friends as well as some of the feelings that have come about from getting hit by a car.
Last Wednesday was like any other Wednesday except it was the day before I was to leave on the journey of a lifetime. The plan was simple go see someone who I care deeply for and spend a nice day just talking walking and enjoying each others company. The second half of the day was to be spent with the most important person in the world to me and that is my daughter. Well it was a perfect day kind of magical. From an out standing lunch in "The Coolest Small Town" Sykesville to visiting stores and meeting new people. Tina my friend had me tell everyone about my trip and well I liked the way she looked at me when I talked about it so I didn't mind in the least. I think she likes to see me shine and talk about something of passion.
What a great little town this place is. I Met the owners of TriSports a great little shop dedicated to Triathlon enthusiasts so if your looking for gear check them out....Well after much laughter and holding hands and well just general good stuff we went for a hike up the railroad tracks....she showed me the vegetable graffiti....seriously who does vegetable graffiti....lol. To a casual swim in a river under a train bridge it was about as perfect as any day should be or could be.....Tina and I eventually said our goodbyes and parted ways. Who knows what the future may bring one can only hope more times and days like that with someone I care about....only time will tell. But no matter what I have an amazing memory of a beautiful perfect day with a lovely soul but I really hope there is more...but who knows....love and friendships are interesting things and really all that matter.
So I picked up my daughter from work and well I have to say what an amazing young lady she is. We drove around and talked and well we spent time practicing her driving and her parking. And well this may sound stupid but it was the perfect way to spend time with my daughter actually teaching her something. I am not sure if people appreciate these moments but for me it was about perfect. Take the time to enjoy them please you don't know when they could be gone.
So the flight came and went rather uneventful except I will say this South West Airlines is the absolute worst in customer service except for a very nice young lady who helped me with my luggage in Jacksonville. Thank You.
My friend Samantha and her family picked me up and we had an great time. The next morning her and her girls took me to Jacksonville beach I dipped the tires and set off. It was rather surreal to think this was going to be my life for the next 2+ months. It was hot and well I got a little bit of a latter start then I wanted but I was still off. All the days of preparing came down to this single moment. It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time. The miles were fading away and I got to a nice little underpass that provided a nice shady area for lunch. I took my time made some calls and let a few people know I was ok.
After a half hour break I decided to take back to the road and headed out. A few miles up the road the bike lane ended and well as I was passing in front of the entrance to an abandoned restaurant a car decided to turn he side swiped my front tire causing my bike and myself to flip into the side of his car and then I was flipped into the air off the back of the car. My bike flying over my head. My head and right hand hit the street first. I immediately stood up and was bounced off the fender of another car passing by sending me back onto the pavement. The original driver never stopped and witness's say he sped up after launching me into the air.
A ton of people stopped and came to my aide the police were called and ambulance arrived quickly. The fire department guys were actually kind of jerks but hey not everyone can be decent people. Sadly no one got the tag number everyone said they were to caught up in my multiple cartwheels in the air....I certainly understand it had to be entertaining to see.
I do appreciate all that stopped and I do appreciate the ambulance as well as the police. All though there is little to no chance of catching the person it is a reality and besides what good would come from it. I felt relatively ok a little bruised up so I refused the trip to the hospital and decided to keep on riding. Let me now take a moment to talk about my bike. A few people laughed about me taking a schwinn along for this ride....well this bike did exactly what it was supposed to do take a beating and keep on ticking. It took a car hit at 25mph and nothing. Granted I had the wheels strengthened before leaving on this trip but this bike took what others could never take....My Schwinn is bad ass....
So after continuing on a few more miles I got a text asking me to go to the hospital from a friend because she said by now the adrenaline would be wearing off and well I would start feeling some pain. Damn if she was not right. I could no longer move my right hand and it was swelling up something fierce. I noticed a hospital sign and rode towards it. After arriving at Baptist Medical center I was greeted by a few doctors who all have cycling experience and well we had a great laugh. turns out that this happens a lot. A few xrays and wouldn't you know it a fractured Ulna and a fractured Wrist bone all on the very first day. So a cast went on my arm and I was told I probably scrap the ride. Sam came and picked me up.
This was pretty devastating to me. I had done so much preparation and placed so much hope in this journey I just didn't know what to say. Here it was only the first day and I had a broken arm and damn near a broken spirit. All those feelings of not being good enough came rushing back....how was I going to be looked at now....a failure oh hell maybe the universe was right I really am not good enough for anyone or anything. What the hell was I thinking that made me think I am able to be something more. While I am gone the world back home continues.....and here I was looking for something I just was not meant to find and trying to be something that I am not. I felt like a complete and utter looser. Who would want a looser after all. Hell I could not even stand to be around myself. I felt defeated before I really ever got started....I don't know if anyone can relate but I felt as if I just didn't matter and why the fuck would I even think I mattered to anyone. Why did I need to find an answer to a question most already know without even putting their life on hold or in jeopardy......How stupid could I possibly be yeah that is how I felt. I am just a beaten joke laying there with a broken arm and well a broken spirit and really I did not give a damn about anyone else at that moment. From what I have been told a few people back home had a mighty good time laughing about my accident and about me they told a few stories about me at the wine festival in jest but a few people told me just the same.
So yeah these thoughts were back and they came back full tilt. And with those naysayers talking there little talk and their little jokes it took me just a day to realize you know what doesn't matter what they say. Doesn't matter if any of them think I am good enough. I received hundreds of messages asking me to keep going if not for me but for them.....because people need hope and not someone who lays up at the first sign of trouble. I am no hero, I am no role model but most importantly I am no quitter. I may not ever be good enough for some but I damn site am good enough for the people in my life who love me and care for me and want the best for me. Yes am I scared hell yes I am scared I am about to go the rest of my trip with a broken arm and a few more things to be gun shy of. I am scared that the world will pass me by people will replace me or find no time for me when I return. I am scared that nothing will change for me. I am scared for the first time since this journey began and I am ok with it. Fear is a good thing but worrying about it is not I can not control any of those things and just have to leave it up to the universe to decide what will happen next.
The world is an interesting place and I need to find where I fit into it. Back on the road I go tomorrow with the encouragement of my friends my supporters My sponsor Schwinn (who sent me a replacement helmet and a trailer since with one arm I could not manage the bike). I am going to do this for those that are looking at it for hope and for myself my reasons have not changed and everything happens for a reason....maybe this was just a way for the universe to remind me to oh I don't know but I am sure there was a reason.
It is not about how hard you hit but about how hard you get hit and keep getting up. Broken Not Beaten
