Over the previous blogs I have talked about what has happened in my life to bring me to a cross road in my life. I have talked about why I consider myself broken. While this is a focus of the reason for the trip it is not what makes my life whole. In this Blog I will be talking about the Good events of my life, The Great Moments in my Life and well the thing that really matters and drives me and that is hope.....Yes I am broken but I am not beaten.....
My life to this point has been an incredible roller coaster ride. Exciting, depressing, amazing and well just life. That is kind of my point while I have done a ton of different things some good and some bad I have to remember that there is a tremendous amount of good, great and hope that has come from my life experiences.
It is one thing to have to overcome obstacles and keep moving forward but I think I also need to remember the good and focus on those as I move forward....my mind will process the bad and put it in its proper place so the future can be free from it.
One thing I want to make clear. If you did not walk in anothers life from start to finish then you truly do not know what they have accomplished. The reason I say this is a few of the people who I grew up with seem to think that if you do not follow the status quo of what life is supposed to be, you know HS, College, Work, Married, Kids, retirement and well then death you could of never accomplished or have done anything great. How wrong they are. Sorry I would go insane if my life followed that formula but for some it works and well if that is what makes them happy Im glad some people sacrifice love, adventure and happiness for security. All I know is no matter what the sun will come up and the sun will set the next day....for me security is a cost I will never pay....I would rather do the things that have made my life a story worth telling at least in my opinion. So if your life does not mirror someone elses you know what it is your life Love it and make it amazing and what ever you do....don't discount anothers....dismissing or deminishing a person or their experiences well is just ignorant.
In addition to my life as you have read so far the good has been very good the great has been very great and like all things I hope to make it even greater. Hope seems to be a topic that I like because I find that in order to hope for something means that you have a goal and well when you have a goal and hope for it you can achieve it no matter what it is.
My first 9 years on this earth were spent in Baltimore on Glenkirk Ave. I loved that neighborhood from riding on the back bumper of the icecream truck around the neighborhood to pulling a fire alarm box handle because my brother told me I would get a free ice cream. Well you kow what the joke was on him because when the fire truck showed up and learned it was a false alarm and I had to tell them why....The driver bought me an ice cream and well my brother got grounded. Still laugh at that.
This was one of the happiest times of my life and well you know what childhood should be....and I will touch on that a little more in a bit.
Once we got to Bel Air I learned a very valuable lesson from my mother and this was before she became sick. Back in the early 80's there was little for teenagers to get into. So my mother instead of complaining about it got with Wendell Baxter and well started the Bel Air teen center on Main Street. The lesson I learned that if you see something wrong don't bitch do something to fix it. One of my greatest moments was receiving a plaque for my mothers efforts about 10 years after she died. I will never forget that and I will always be proud of her for doing it.
Working 14 hours a sunday at the age of 13 was something I will never forget....I learned what the value of a dollar was. I learned what it means to get up for work no matter what and yes many days especially in the dead of winter I wanted to quit but I was not allowed to quit and now I know where a little of my attitude about not quitting comes from. Work teachs humility, it teachs values and I see many of our youth today not learning these traits and well it saddens me. So get your ass to work kids....
In high school I did rather well I had good grades friends but after being on my own at a young age I had to go on work study so my junior and senior years I was only in school for a few hours each day. As you can tell by my grammar and spelling it had an impact. I was supposed to be the one from my family that went to college but that was not in the books after my mother got sick.....but I will talk about that not being a hinderance here shortly despite what people think about college. I think while it is a great tool it is even more important to have it work in conjunction with life experience. I did graduate on time which many thought was a miracle.
I had great friends and I talked about them in an earlier blog. Some of these friends are still close and well some of them are not. Many of the guys I grew up with I mean guys I knew all my life and talked daily with and when they needed something I was there, well they bailed the day my addiction became public and well I have not talked to them since. Sad really but it is there loss and my gain. They seem to be stuck in High School and always talking about my negatives and Know nothing of my positives so fuck them....as for the others who have remained a friend and been there always for me I appreciate you and well that is the great.
Here came the United States Navy. You see being bored out of my gorde in Bel Air was just not for me. While its a great little town my good the only true excitment comes from a once in awhile drinking spree or weeks vacation somewhere you wished you lived....again no thank you.
Well I went into the Navy and while it was fun because I never left Florida it just wasn't for me. After my cryptotech training I choose an early out when they were doing cut backs....most of my friends that went in stayed in and good for them I appreciate their service as we all should.
I went back to Bel Air but did not stay long I eventually moved to Towson and met the second love of my life. I have been a pretty lucky guy in my life. I have been able to have been in love with 5 different woman and well each of them is still amazing in my mind. We moved in together and well this goes back to one of my problems trying to change who I am to make someone else happy when in reality they loved me for who I was after all but Im an idiot actually. Needless to say it didn't last but you know what we are friends again today and that is all that matters is the friends and relationships in our lives....and I have to say one of the greatest parts of my life is those relationships. Relationships that don't require meeting peoples standards, where you are taken for you and accepted just for you. I actually read an interesting sign the other day that said "If you have to sacrifice your principles to be accepted your being accepted by the wrong people" now that I love.
What I'm about to share is something I have only told a few people in my life. When I got my brokers liscense I applied to Met Life. Well I lied on my application saying I went to college and got caught. And yes this is one of my greatest moments. I was called into the HR office in New York and met with the director of HR. You see he sat me down and said we are having trouble finding your College transcripts. My response well you should since I lied about going....and he asked me why and I asked him why he was still talking to me? He told me that I got a near perfect score on my Series 7 which is unheard of and only missed one question on my series 6 as well as my life and health exams and they are in the business of hiring the best. So I explained how I didn't think Met Life would want a non college grad no matter what the score was. He made an exception had me redoo my resume and paperwork and hired me after all.....that was a man that stepped up to do what is right.
I made him proud! I made leaders conference in my 1st year and presidents conference in each of the following years.....just for those that don't know what that means is out of 50,000 brokers world wide I was one of the top 100 then the top 20....and well BAM ....I was smart.
I later left Met Life to take over a position with one of my clients at a start up computer school in Hunt Valley....I took the position of Vp of Sales for Computer training .com. Go figure a guy who barely graduated high school with a little brains was given another shot. We grew that company from one school making 1.9 million to 156 schools nationwide and doing around 500 million in sales yearly. We did that in 3 years and well parts of the school were sold I took my buyout and took 2 years off work to do some fun things at the ripe old age of 35. You see this is where what some of the people from my hometown neglect to know about me. From a work standpoint I have done some really really cool things....after CTC I wrote sales training procedures that are now used in most for profit school systems and even some of the procedures are taught in marketing classes.....yeah so when you are being pitched it most likely from words and procedures I helped write and develop.
I went on to run 3 different mortgage banks and got out just before the crash. And then my greatest work achievment. After I got out of my state sponsored vacation I had 300 dollars to my name a laptop and a printer. I couldn't find work and well I started a staffing company out of the Dunkin Donuts in Dundalk. I could not afford an office but I had a client so I ran a craigslist add and well sent people out of there to work everyday. This went on till I had an issue with workmens comp costs...and I bought into a franchise of Labor Max and well grew that to 7 offices in 3 states....employing 1700 people....yeah you can't keep a good man down. Then the BIG ONE came and well it all went away.
Some other good things came my way you see unlike the once a year vacationers I would never take a vacation....I would work non stop for a few years then take a buy out from my employer for services rendered and well take a year off to do as I want....yeah not conventional at all but more fun then you can imagine...
My greatest moments though have always been about helping people. While work is an achievement and I appreciate it work is work. Where the good becomes great is actually helping people. Most forget that most are to self absorbed. I started To Be A Dad for a very good reason. It was entirely self funded by me and really just addressed an issue that I felt was a real problem....astranged fathers not knowing how to be fathers and well single moms and the kids with out their dad. While single moms do amazing things it really is a responsibility of men to step up and be fathers. So I developed a program to help navigate and teach these men through mentorship, legal help and working with child support to reintroduce men back into their childrens life.
A few years ago I started to look at it the wrong way and well it needed to be run the way it was meant to and not be tainted by even myself. So I turned the program over to another program called Father Love and they are running with the set up that was laid out. To date 65 men have been reintroduced to their childrens lives and well that is 65 families that have been saved. I pretty good with that. Now I just need to be a little more active in my own duties as a father because that is my GREATEST MOMENT and it is on going.
Here comes the hope.......and we all need hope. I hope I make the entire distance but if I don't I hope that I can show myself a way to place the past where the past belongs and I hope that I can find a meaningful path that allows me do my favorite things and be the man I am meant to be. I hope that others who feel broken can learn they are not beaten I want to help myself and others by showing them they can over come anything.
There is this man Corey who fell off King and Queen seat in Harford County 9 years back....his wife and kids were there along with me and my daughter. I sent them to the parking lot while I climbed down to him. All the while on my headset giving directions to the fire department. I reached corey and while he did not fall the entire way he still fell 150 feet. His leg was behind his head, his left arm was damaged severely and part of his skull was torn open but he was alive.....I had to take my shirt and stop the bleeding or at least slow it. He was air lifted to Shock Trauma. Here is where this plays in the hope....when I told his wife that he was alive and going to be fine she had instentanous relief that her hopes were fullfilled you see hope is what we want and when it is reached it is a relief....at least part of what hope means to me. The other part of hope is that this is not all it will be and it will be what you want it to be. I just hope to make it to California with my goals achieved and Moving on now.
I have had some other great moments and well if you want to know them don't worry about them go make your own because you can....This is your life just like me you may be broken but you are not beaten and you are only limited by what you choose to be limited by.
