Like many things in Life it is about follow through. Over my life time I have fallen short on finishing many things. Sometimes taking on things can be a daunting task and sometimes it can be used as an excuse to stop. I have done this a few times in my life a few times to many actually. What I have come to learn about myself that if it truly matters to me I finish it. This trip started as a suggestion and well it is fast becoming a reality. It has become more much more to me and to other people.
This journey was supposed to be nothing more then just a chance for me to ride across the country and clear my mind. Give my mind a break and process the events of the past. It was to allow me to prove to myself that I am a better man then I have been told or treated. This journey was for me to accept what has happened, forgive those who have hurt me, as well as to forgive myself for the harm that I caused and to show myself I may be Broken but not Beaten.
What started as a simple bike ride has turned into a little more. But basically it is nothing more then just a bike ride. I will be leaving Sarrasota Florida on the 26th of September and arriving in San Diego sometime around Thanksgiving. The nice thing it is is still for me. It is still about those things listed above. It is still about proving that I am worthy of being loved I am worthy of being a dad I am worthy of the respect that I have earned and the knowledge that I am a good man who can finish something that I start.
My entire life it seems has been a struggle but dealing lately with family has been a major obstacle. Dealing with the nay sayers has been a past topic so I will not spend much time on it tonight. I find it funny lots of people every year actually hundreds cycle across the United States. Why is it that for me I am told that I can not do it or I will never finsih it.
I have been doing all of the preperation. I have gotten a ton of support. I have people willing to pitch in to make sure the journey is a success. I think it just comes down to me. Having a feeling of being unworthy has been a major obstacle in my life, it really has been one of my biggest struggles. From relationships to work to family it has been a hinderance. What few know about me though is I use this as fuel....I will show you attitude is what i strive for. Sometimes though this is looked upon as a detriment. People do not understand what it means to stick by conviction. Not to compromise their ethics or morals for a something as stupid as a how people perceive you.
Really what does anyones opinion really matter anyway. The only opinion that matters to me is my own....again this is one of those things that is known but not internalized....and I have a feeling when it is watch out world. Finishing is going to be a simple a task, getting started is the hard part. Showing up is half the battle right. Well like I said the effort has been put in the time has been set aside. The journey is planned.
It still comes down to getting started. The cycling part is the easy part. Dealing with the nay sayers, putting the equipment together and preparing mentally/physically is entirly different thing. It is like anything though if you say your going to do it you stick to it. You don't compromise you pick the destination and you go. What I did not expect was for this to take on a mind of its own. What turned from a simple bike trip has turned into a good bit more. People have jumped on board and like Forrest Gump said " Some say they got hope from it well I don't know anything about that" for me it still is about my healing process. It is still for me. Just I hope others can receive some benefits and if it helps others it is worth it...all.
Well enough deep thought stuff for now.
What comes next is where the journey lies right now. Virtually all of the equipment is in. Bags get put on the bike this week so I can start training with the weight on it. The new puncture proof tires get put on the week before the trip along with a complete take down and rebuild.....Stops are being finalized over the next week and well Im almost ready......What comes for the remaing month is working out alot of it. Increasing my mileage so every few days....and working out as much as possible.
Well that covers getting started......the challenge is going to be the mid point really when there is no one around and it is just me....there will be days when I see no one. I know it will come and this is the part where things could be tough truly tough. When I all that is left to face is yourself that is where freedom lies. Making it through this part is going to be the most freeing and yet the most challenging....the cycling is just getting there. Then there is the end....that glorious glorious end...and then what is next...maybe it will be a ride back...or a run like forrest.
Please if you can come out and see me at any point please I will need the encouragment...there is a reason not many do this.
Please if you can come out and see me at any point please I will need the encouragment...there is a reason not many do this.
