My page and the entire trip from jump had one simple purpose to let people know that they are not nearly as broken as they think they are and that included me. That it is ok to have your scars but its more important to get past them and keep trying. Moving forward no matter what is paramount for the human spirit, without it stagnation and bitterness set in. That is when hope has been lost and well people become mean. I myself have been guilty of this many times over my life as I have said many times I am no angel but I do have some empathy for others....not always but most of the time. And I firmly believe if you can get past your scars but others cannot that is on them especially the ones that only assume they have no scars, If you have lived you have scars...and if you truly have none well then time to get a life and take a chance.
I lived through many illnesses and situations that should of ended my life. I have been told many times that it was for a reason. Over the past 7 months I have been trying to figure out what that purpose was, my dharma if you would. Taking the ride was the first step in this. I went beyond what was thought possible with my medical history. Honestly I could never have done it without the encouragement of others. People taking my trip for what it was supposed to be an inspiration to myself and to others. Along the way I met amazing people, good people, people who were amazed at what I was doing and what I had done. Then there were others, people who took it upon themselves to share my trials and growth with others who they thought needed to hear it....and to all of them thank you.
In the perfect world I would love to see people care, honestly care about what happens to others. I would like to see people try to be more than the sum of their narrow views and or assumptions. There is a great line and I am not sure where it came from....oh yeah the golden rule....Matthew 7:12 "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." yeah I would like to think that is the greatest of all the things I have learned and I think the reason for most of the good in the world. HAHA I bet you did not think I have read the book of the bible I was named after....again there is a lot about me you don't know or just may assume....
Many times in my life I have fallen short of this very rule. I will always be capable of the bad things I have done, that is a fact. We all are, it is just whether or not we are willing to accept the price paid for those behaviors and actions anymore and that is the change that occurs in people. When I choose to find my path and start this journey, I laid down those aspects of me, no longer willing to deal with the consequences of those behaviors. This is what moving beyond one's self is. I'm still not perfect and I have made mistakes and you know what we all will make mistakes. This goes back to my central point of this blog. I'm just as guilty about making assumptions.
There seems to be this thought process in this world that is becoming more and more disturbing. There is this belief that assumptions are reality. That assumptions are actually true until disproved. Reality is that is so far from the truth the world gets skewed by assumptions. Take me for instance, I assumed for the longest time I would never be able to do accomplish the things I have done over the past 7 months. I assumed that a woman I was seeing was cheating on me. I assumed that her life would fill the voids and fill the things I thought I needed. When those assumptions turned out to be wrong I believed them so much I was actually hurt. My ego would not allow me to be wrong....and well I was wrong.
Take another instance, I once again assumed that what I was doing was best for someone and that I deserved something from them, again assuming that I could fit into their world, assuming that relationship will fill the things I needed or thought I needed. Again when the assumptions turned out wrong I acted like an ass. More on both of those relationships in a minute....keep reading.
My point is in this that assumptions are not reality. Sometimes reality is just real. It comes down to whether you are going to accept reality as reality....reality is not what we choose believe hell I can choose to believe the sky to be purple does that make it so no...here is where the disturbing part comes in...Sometimes the loudest people assuming things are so set in their assumptions that they will kick scream make up and lie about their assumptions till someone goes" yeah yeah the sky is purple". Then that group mentality takes hold and people kick and scream harder but this time as a group trying to convince more and more people of the their assumed truth.
This is where the broken part comes into play. We are all broken in this aspect none of us are exempt from assuming things...some more then others, myself included.
Sometimes assumptions become too real for people. When assuming that what someone has done or is doing must be a lie because it is beyond what someone assumes as possible. This is when people take out their own fears and inadequacies on the person trying. This is at least for me when I screwed up relationships badly or just acted like an ass. I appreciate people who are exempt from feeding into assumptions, I hope to be one of those people one day maybe I will find that on my return trip a way for me to always see the reality of a situation without assumptions.
Every time that I assumed something about someone and I was wrong I hurt them. Hurt people hurt people. If you're making assumptions about someone chill relax and realize it just may be the truth. It has been said and I really am not sure who said this but "Sometimes it is what it actually is".
A few of you by now are wondering why I put a picture from my hometown up as the title pic of this blog. Many of you assumed, I am sure that because of some of the recent assumptions being cast around about me, that I would beat up on the town and blame a group mentality. Honestly I don't care what is being assumed about me. One thing I have learned is, that people who make the assumptions if they are not open to at least asking for the truth or talking to the person about the assumption or it just does not matter to them because they actually know the persons heart. I will never change their minds, no matter how much proof is given to the contrary it will always just be the perceived reality. So with that being said scream and holler and assume as you wish, I honestly just feel sorry for you. Mostly because like I said at the beginning of this blog assumptions rob us of hope, belief in greater things and that the world can be amazing. I will never defend myself against assumptions and really no one should or better yet have to. Sorry to not meet your assumptions about what this blog would be about.....if you read it to see me blast Bel Air....lol... remember the old saying "when you assume things you make an ass out of you not me."
Bel Air is actually a great little town....some of the people assume too much....but really there are some great people there...
Assumptions hurt many people....from the people making the assumption to the person who is being assumed to have done something. Especially when little to none of the actual facts are known. Assumptions hurt a ton of people....assuming people are not good enough to be associated with a group of people, assuming someone could not be able to do something because you feel yourself not capable, assuming the reasons people are doing something and assuming that some people are just more important than others....all of those assumptions are cast by people who are either deeply broken or deeply scared themselves and it is usually a sign of their own inadequacies and fears about themselves.
Take for instance people who assume that all people on food stamps are free loaders or that everyone that has a scar will never be able to move past it to do more. If they can get past their scar so shouldn't you!!!!!
Now it is time for me to apologize for a few assumptions in my life. Look Universe, I'm sorry for assuming I deserved something because of the shit I have been through (dumb assumption).
God I'm sorry for assuming you had something against me (really dumb assumption).
As for those relationships I mentioned earlier. ..that I would discuss. I will just say this. To both of them, I'm sorry, I'm sorry i projected what i thought my needs were and I'm sorry i assumed so much. It wasn't fair and I was wrong. I should of let both of you find you and I should of never put you in the position that I did. Thank you both for being a part of my life. Your happiness is and always was important to me along with your friendship. Which i miss dearly.. If you assumed there would be more sorry to disappoint you...these are private matters....and only meant for them.
So people there you go that is my great bashing of my hometown don't you feel kind of funny for assuming what you were going to read.
